I promise I haven’t become a city robot wishing the week away but for this week I was that person.
In the city,
Same standing position on the platform to get that sit- I need that extra 30 min sleep.
Get into work, the day goes by, it’s dark outside.
Tube it to Fenchurch street- getting a sit on the train is important to me
& i’m home.
Before you know, it is 10:00pm and it’s time to prep for the next day
I’m thankful that this is not my norm, it is my side hustle.
I am an actress. Yes I said it.
“I act” is my normal response when people ask what I do.
Definition: Impostor Syndrome – Is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
‘Impostor Syndrome’ a term I’m hearing a lot these days and I realized I have it. I did not feel confident or professional enough to say ‘I’m an actress’ dreading the next set of questions
‘Oh what have you been in?’
‘Have you been on TV?’
‘Eastenders the goal?’
To which I say, I trained in theatre, getting into film and TV now, I write as well.
And yes you will see me on the TV screen, soon.
Timing is everything and for me God’s timing is the best. I’m trying to find joy in every season i’m in, whether it be
Quiet or busy
Single or in a relationship
Bank balance is full or testing ( I’m not using the word broke)
Socially active or anti
There is a reason for it.
I will stand comfortably in it, not wishing the season away but gaining from whatever it’s trying to teach me.
I promise i’m not over analyzing my life, I genuinely believe you can find a lesson in everything and there is nothing wrong in reflecting over your thought process, reactions to things and question why or if you can do better.
To say the least, it’s been an interesting week out of my norm, next week i’m back in the rehearsal room and on a film set, the switch over is real.
Day 304 of 365,
You’ve got this, whatever season you are in. Enjoy resting because you’ll need the energy for the hectic season that is around the corner, soak up your loved ones presences and enjoy that self care day, Single? Live your life! The time to be all boo’d up will come. Surround yourself with things that feed your joy and give that joy back to someone else.
I’ll say it again, Thank God it’s Friday!